If you go down in the woods today...

I changed train at Leeds today with 45 mins to spare, so I went down to the canal basin to the coffee shop that does the most fantastic coffee and ham and cheese toastie, made with real bread, real ham and real cheese.  Superb









The "dry" dock here was full of horrible green algae.  I'm not sure what causes this, but it doesn't look good.

Got the train down to London, and over to Olympia for CAMRA's GBBF food and cider festival.  Hidden away behind all the corporate stalls, there were a few bars serving real ale, most of it flat.
The Betty Stoggs band were here making a racket as usual.

I had a nice pint of Cairngorm Black Gold, and a Stonehouse Station Bitter at the SIba stand, then set off around the rest of the stalls.  The stands have beers from different counties, but in a completley random order which makes no sense.

Towards the rear of Olympia we had sulphorous beer after sulphorous beer, throwing them all away. Redemption Hotspur had just won at Tonbridge the other week, so I tried that.  An overpowering sulphorous smell, and a rancid taste. ALL of these beers can't be off ?

The quality of beers was poor at olympia last year, but there are too many beers that I know are good, but are terrible here.  The general consensus is to leave and find a decent pint in a pub somewhere, and don't bother returning to GBBF, which is a great display of food and cider, and a great demonstration of how badly beer can be served.

ZZzzzzz...

Saturday evening, I put the Fridge and Freezer in to the V70, strapped the mattress to the roof, and headed for the boat. It's amazing how much the car blows about on the motorway with a double mattress on the roof!

 After clearing a path through the engine room, Ian gave me a lift with the mattress and it went in remarkably easily. Fridge and freezer followed through the side hatch.
I had decided that I may as well sleep on the boat so I could get an early start in the morning, so I set the mattress on the floor in the potential kitchen, and threw on a scattering of pillows and quilt.
I put the bed rails outside, marked them out and cut them just in time for it to go dark.

 I loaded the rails back on the boat, and decided to try out the Lock & Quay at the end of the road for a solitary planning meeting, where I had a couple of fine pints of Blond Witch, reminding me of the Ex.

It was a remarkably comfortable sleep on the boat, although how much of this is psychological, sleeping on your own bed, etc. I don't know.
Ian said the best way to join the bed rails was to use a biscuit joiner.  When I said I have no digestives, he produced a small angle-grinder like power tool, and some compressed wood biscuits.





I had a try out on a couple of scraps of wood, and it seemed neat enough.



I got the frame together ok, but struggled for what seemed like an eternity to get it square.  As well as not being able to use a level, the boat sides are not vertical, and near the back of the boat the sides aren't even straight.

After much tweaking and cursing, the diagonals were with in 1/4" of each other, and the side rail was packed out from the side of the boat.


I then spent what seemed to be my entire life twice over cutting spacers for the slats, drilling pilot hoes in each. These were then glued and screwed in place to give the correct spacing for the slats, and it was starting to look like a bed!


Pedantic Interlude.
Just a quick not to all the pedantic trawlers out there, I know the word used three paragraphs ago should have been "stern".

I had just finished cutting the lengths of 3x2 for the walkway down the side of the bed when CRASH!
The corner biscuit joint had split apart, and the front corner of the bed frame had collapsed in a pile of slats.  CRUMBS!
Loads of glue, a ratchet strap, and plenty of huge screws should hold it.  I think biscuit joints are a bit delicate for a heavy duty frame like this.
The storage/walkway was shoehorned down the side of the bed, but the side rail of this stands slightly proud due to the angle of the side of the boat.  I will rectify this (and all the other badly fitting bits of woodwork) when I get the electric planer hooked up.
Mattress, sheets pillows, etc and the bed is extremely comfortable.

I unpacked the Fridge, freezer and WC then decided to call it a day. Very productive.

Gone in 60 seconds

Man vs V70

On the train back from Manchester I had a sudden thought. "Where are my car keys?"
A search of all the pockets - nowt.
A search of all the rucksack pockets - zero.
Coat out of the rucksack - Nothing.
A complete rummage through all and everything in the rucksack - Big Fat Zero.
Rang MDL - "Are my keys on the desk?" - No
Rang Baz - "Have I dropped my keys in your car?" - No
Bugger!




I got off the Tram and went to the car. Some scroat had left a note because they had driven into my car because they were too thick to drive.  I'm surprised a brainless moron like this can even write!





The Car is definitely locked, with my house keys, clothes and (probably far too much to leave in the car) cash locked inside.

I got the bus back to Rammy.  What to do ?  Have a pint!

Chippy Paul came in and I told him about the car. He rang his mate who does recovery work, who tells him you can get in if you remove the drip seal from one of the doors.
Paul then drove me back to the car in his chippy van full of chippy tools, and we set about breaking into a car in broad daylight in the middle of town.

The seal came off ok, then fishing about down the gap with a bit of wire did nothing.
A car drove past, stopped, window down "I've got a coat hanger in the car if that helps".
Fished about with the coat hanger - nothing.
A bloke came over from his van with a long metal rod, "Will this help?"
Fished about with the long metal rod - nothing.
An electrician offered a long pole with a hook on the end...
Someone else came up with a long jubilee clip...
A webbing strap...

A long screwdriver forced a gap at the top of the door, so we could try to pull the little knob up with the webbing strap...
The jubilee clip...
the jubilee clip and the metal rod...
the webbing strap and the metal rod...
Finally we pushed a trim from some fitted kitchen thingy in and managed to pull the little button up.

Success!!!

Unfortunately not, the door still didn't open.

45 Minutes later, the little buttons were pulled up on three of the doors, but none would open.
Desperation : we forced a screwdriver through the tailgate lock and turned it - Nothing.
Hammered a huge screwdriver through the tailgate lock and turned it - nothing.

For nearly two hours we tried to break in and not one person said "Are you stealing that car?", but five people offered advise on how to break in!

Gave up, defeated. Gone in 60 seconds, more like around the Volvo in 80 days!

I couldn't go to the house to pay the plasterer:
1. No car
2. House keys are in the car
3. Money to pay him is in the car
I am sure he has heard these before.

Friday morning and I rang the snobs at Blackburn Volvo, who were far too superior to bother even to ring me a mere Volvo customer back.

I rang an auto-locksmith
"I've lost my car key"
"What car is it?"
"Volvo V70"
"Smash a window"

I repeated the above three times, then on the fourth locksmith, "I'll be there this afternoon"
The Fridge and the Freezer arrived for the boat, so I decided that so the day was not a complete loss, I would take them, and a mattress over to the boat. I loaded them into the van, picked up a mattress from IKEA and headed over to the boat.  Half way there I realised (yes, you guessed it) the boat keys are in the car.
Bollocks!

I drove back to Bury and waited for the locksmith, who duly arrived, and within 30 seconds was inside the car!
A few minutes later, and £140 lighter, I had a new key.

The car locks and unlocks, even the tailgate, so all of our exertions had not even damaged a lock!  Note to self: Don't start a career as a car thief.
Now that I had the boat keys out of the car, K rang and said he needed the van back, so I unloaded the matress, fridge and freezer back into the store and went for a beer.

Loidis

Or, how to spend an afternoon enjoying the hotspots of Leeds.  First call was Veritas, with excellent beer, I went for Joshua Jayne from Ilkley brewery. Excellent, and a superb meat and cheese platter to go with it!

 

Across the road is the Victoria, unchanged for years and a really nice untouched interior.  The beer was not so good though.

Back down the road further, there is the new-ish Escobar.  It doesn't look like a bar from the outside, and terrible beer inside.  One to miss in future.

The Ship is one of three pubs hidden away down little alleyways in the shopping precinct.  Superb beer and a great atmosphere.

Just up from the dubious Leeds brewery tap, there is a shop called Friends of Ham.  This looks like a meat shop at first, then you notice the hand pumps on the bar.  downstairs there is a huge room with settees, skittles and a huge table down the middle. Great beer and a second meal of smoked meats and cheeses.

Last call was The Hop underneath the railway, before getting the train home.

Half an hour sitting by the canal, watching the world go by.





I noticed this sign which I found amusing!

Why don't they talk proper ?

Berkeley Castle wasn't flooded this year either, so off we went with a tent, a load of beer, mead and Cider.  It was a nightmare trip down, queueing for an hour and a half on the M5, so we were late setting the beer tent up.

Better late than never though, and soon there was plenty of quaffing going on.

The weather was great for the public to watch the battle both days, but torrential rain at six both evenings scattered the crowds.  The food traders stopped providing food at six as well, so everybody buggered off into the town, leaving the beer tent dead until late both evenings.  TBH at four quid for a sausage butty, I think people would have gone to the town to eat anyway.

Ruddians & Oak

I went to Tonbridge again to judge beers of the south. I arrived at the Rose and Crown to find Barry finishing his dinner, and no-one else.  Thoughts of Deja Vu ?
There were no floods though, so a couple of pints in the Man of Kent before their quiz started, followed by the couple of typically terrible pints in the Wetherspoons rounded off the night.
Judging the following day was extremely difficult.  We had six milds to judge in the second round, and there was absoluteley nothing between them.  It is great to see a selection of milds of such a high quality, especially in the uncivilised south.

Down to Hatfield House on the Sunday for Folk by the Oak.  The beer tent was by Tring again, serving good, but flat and warm beer.  One day people will realise that chucking a bit of sack over a cask does nothing to cool it.

The line-up was fantastic. We started with Kat Gilmore and Jamie Roberts, who I have not seen for some time.  They had support this time with a double bass, percussion and keyboards, but I don't think they really need it, they have such a great sound by themselves.

Carthy, Hardy, Farrel and Young, although sounding like a firm of solicitors, were on top form, as was Fay Hield.

Lau were as insane as usual, having just travelled down from Scotland, and then, just when you thought things couldn't get any better, Kate Rusby took music to a whole new level.
The Oysterband finished off what is a fantastic one day festival, well worth the £30 ticket money.

Thick as two of them

Sunday night an I went down to London.

Although it was nice and sunny, it looked like it was about to rain when I left Rammy, so I took my coat.
This happens every time.  The sun came out, it was roasting hot, and I was carrying my coat about everywhere!

A couple of nice pints in the Queens Arms, and then it was round to the RAH to see Ian Anderson & bits of Jethro Tull performing Thick as a Brick.

Great stuff, but up at the top level of the RAH, the accoustics were not so good, and you could hardly hear the lyrics.  Either that or Ian's voice has gone.